The Mudaliar community follows a custom whereby the prospective bridegroom's parents approach the bride-to-be's parents with a marriage proposal. On acceptance of the proposal, a memorandum is signed between both families and an auspicious day is fixed for the wedding. A typical Mudaliar wedding can last up to three days.

List of ceremonies

1. The Engagement : Finalizing the marriage through a memorandum
The engagement ceremony is formalized through a memorandum, which confirms the alliance. The groom's family presents the bride-to-be with a sari, some jewellery and 21 platters of fruits and dried fruits. The respective fathers of the bride and the groom sign this contract. During this ceremony, the auspicious date of the wedding is also finalized.

2. Pandhakal : Erecting the marriage 'Pandaal'
The wedding rituals commence with a GANESH PUJA. A bamboo with an odd number of eyes is smeared with 'HALDI' (turmeric) and 'KUMKUM' (vermilion) by nine 'SUMANGALIS' (married ladies). This bamboo pillar is erected for the four legged 'PANDAAL'.

3. Nalangu : Beautifying the bride
The bride is seated on a wooden plank on the dais. Underneath this plank a banana leaf filled with a handful of uncooked rice is spread. Three stools are placed in front of the bride; 'kumkum', sandalwood paste and rose water are placed on one stool, betel leaves, betel nut and flowers on the second, and a plate with 'arathi' (a mixture of lime and turmeric mixed in water which turns red) on the third. The married women (sumangalis) apply sandalwood paste on the bride's hands, put 'kumkum' on her forehead, sprinkle rose water on her and also perform an 'arathi', thus completing the beautification ceremony.

4. The bridegroom's reception : Receiving the groom
The bride's uncle or brother carries gifts for the groom to his home. The groom is then invited to marry the bride. 'Nalangu' is performed for the groom. The bridegroom is brought to the wedding venue in a decorated car. On arrival he is received by ladies from the bride's family and 'arathi' is performed on him. The bride is brought separately and the 'Nalangu' is performed for her as well.

5. Preparations on the morning of the wedding :
The four legged 'pandaal' is now erected and decorated with banana tree stalks on all four corners, tender coconuts, mango leaves and flowers. Before sunrise on the wedding day, the bride and groom come to the marriage 'pandaal' separately. The elders of the family put gingely oil (Nallennai) and green gram powder on the foreheads of the bride and the groom and smear turmeric on their hands. The clothes worn by the bride and groom at this time are given off to the 'dhobi' (washer man) after the completion of the ceremony. The bride and groom then have an oil bath to signify the beginning of a new life. A GANESH PUJA marks the beginning of the wedding rituals.

6. Arsan Kal : Erecting the bamboo stick in front of the marriage platform
'Arsan' means ruler, and 'kal' means standard. In the olden days the king was invited to the wedding, thus setting an honourable standard for the ceremonies. To represent this, another bamboo stick is erected by five 'sumangalis' and all the honours are performed, like bathing the bamboo with milk, sandalwood paste and 'kumkum' and tying a silk scarf around it before performing the 'arathi'.

7. Padapuja and Kasi Yatra : The groom washes his parents' feet and proceeds on a mock pilgrimage
The bridegroom washes the feet of his parents and takes their blessings. This is known as the 'padapuja'. A Ganesha 'puja' is performed and the 'upanayanam' (sacred white thread) is tied around the bridegroom's chest. The bridegroom then pretends to leave on a pilgrimage to become an ascetic. He is stopped by the bride's brother, who washes his feet, gives him an umbrella, a hand fan ('visiri') and slippers and requests him to come and marry his sister.

8. Mahalaxmi Puja : Prayers offered to the Goddess of Wealth
The bride performs 'puja' to the Goddess Laxmi, and then performs 'padapuja' for her parents to receive their blessings. The groom's family brings the wedding clothes for the bride and the groom along with the garlands. The bride and groom get dressed after this ceremony and proceed to the 'pandaal'.

9. Manai Pongal : Rice is cooked in a clay pot
The groom's parents cook rice in a clay pot while the bride and groom get dressed. On their return, the eldest 'sumangali' of the household greets them with garlands. The couple offers prayers to all the deities before entering the 'pandaal'. The sacred fire or 'omam' is then lit to act as a witness to the marriage.

10. Kanganam : Tying of the sacred yellow thread
A sacred yellow thread is tied around the wrists of the bride and the groom by the officiating 'pujari'.

11. Kanikadanam : Giving away the bride
The bride takes a coconut in her palms and her parents place her hands in those of the groom, symbolically handing her over to her husband.

12. Mangalyam : Tying of the sacred 'mangalyam' on the bride
The 'mangalyam' is made out of gold in the shape of a tiger tooth.
Legend has it that in the ancient days the bridegroom killed a tiger, pulled the tooth out and tied it round the neck of his bride, proving his valour. Strings of thread (strung 108 times) are dipped in 'haldi' (turmeric) and the gold pendant is strung on them. The groom has to tie the 'mangalyam' thread with three knots. 'Haldi' (turmeric) is placed on the knot and the groom presses his ring on this as a seal. This is done with the 'nadeswaram' playing in the background, and the couple is blessed with the showering of rice dipped in turmeric, and flowers by all present at the ceremony.

13. Exchange of garlands : The couple exchanges garlands three times
The bride and groom exchange garlands three times. The mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law or aunts tie a piece of gold on the bride's forehead to demonstrate her authority and relationship and repeat the same ritual for the groom. Wedding in progress

14. Omam : The couple pays homage to the sacred fire
The groom and his bride circle the sacred fire three times. The bride's brother gives them puffed rice, which they together offer into the 'omam'. After this ritual, the 'pujari' shows them the 'Arundhati' star so that they can be faithful to each other, since "Arundhati" the mythological goddess was known for her chastity.

15. Sesha : Blessing the couple
A white bed sheet is opened and spread in front of the bride and the groom in the 'pandaal' and uncooked rice is placed on it. Elderly men of the family take handfuls of rice and drop them in front of the couple as a blessing.

16. Paying homage to the 'Arasanikkal' : Couple goes around the 'arasanikkal' 3 times
The couple goes around the 'pandaal' three times followed by unmarried girls from the bride's family. When they return to the 'pandaal' the 'kanganam' is removed and this ritual is repeated with unmarried girls from the groom's family. In the olden days this enabled parents with unmarried eligible sons to look for suitable brides for them. The bride then changes into a white sari, and the groom into a white 'veshti' (dhoti), and they sprinkle 'haldi' water on each other - this is primarily to 'break the ice!

17. Reception : Post wedding celebrations
On the evening of the wedding day, a reception is held where all friends and relatives of both families are invited to congratulate and bless the newly weds. The celebrations are replete with a grand dinner